A dream come true
Today, my life changed. I am now a certified yoga teacher.
I remember 7 years ago, telling my mom over lunch that this was what i wanted to do. But at that time, i was young, poor, and timid. I couldn't afford to leave my full time job and pay $4000+ on a yoga teacher training course. Besides, who knew that that was really what i was destined to do anyway? So i took the safest route - stayed on with my good paying job, paid the bills and went on with life.
I continued going for classes despite my busy schedule. Yoga was the only thing i was willing to get out of the house for on my off days. It kept my body healthy, my mind stable, and my heart happy. Still, i did not get it. You see, i live in a country where career is very important. People slog their lives in the office. That includes all my friends. I didn't have the courage to be the odd one out; I chose to follow the norm and let my dream go to sleep.
7 years on, I've found a man i can rely on. He gave me the freedom to quit my full time job, rest and recuperate at home. So like how i spent the past years on my off days, i went for yoga! I remember something he once said, "If it's not yoga you are doing next,
then please think twice." It's funny how he could see it, but i
couldn't. I didn't want to admit that i wanted it because it was hard
work, and i didn't have much faith in myself.
At 27 years old now and having travelled the world over, i think i've seen and learnt enough to know that we are on this earth to do something great. How high you climb on that corporate ladder will not determine your happiness. The life we live is so precious, we often take it for granted. I'm more certain now than ever that i was brought here to help share the love of yoga. Today, i'm one step closer to doing that.
I dedicate my certificate to my fiance - without him, i would probably still be living in my little bubble, deluded from my destiny.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thursday, September 26, 2013
These couple of days i've been trying to finalize the various designs for the wedding, coupled with getting people to RSVP.
It's been really saddening thus far, to see the really ugly side of the wedding industry. All the vendors know how much that day will mean to you and because of that plain reason, they find ways and means to extort money from you. Let's say we're paying for something that's worth it, we can't complain much right? But these vendors have horrible customer service.
What went on yesterday
Invites: Purple Cards
Everything started off well. Evelyn, the person-in-charge was pleasant, responded promptly, and answered every question well.
Fast forward a couple of months later when designs have been finalized. I sent them to her to check if the color, sizing, format, etc was ok. She answered other questions but not this. Mind you, i did repeatedly ask if the files were ok. No reply. We only went on about questions on other stuff, and of cos making of the deposit.
After deposit was made, lo and behold, my question had a reply!
This was what she said:
"I have seen the files.
I have a suggestion here.
I notice that you have a picture behind the boarding pass card, I'll suggest you to go for offset printing in order to have a good quality and higher resolution print out."
Of course she goes on to tell me how much i need to top up.
And i'm here going, "WTF?"
But i gave her a very simple reply "you could have told me before i made the deposit"
As vendors with years in the wedding industry, they SHOULD know that most brides have budgets to work within. Let's not even go into if i have a choice of getting my 50% deposit back?
The following emails detailed her saying she had to "see the cards before proposing a printing option". I don't know if some people think all brides or stupid or dumb or what, but i clearly DID her the files to her way before we started talking about money. Sigh.
She went on saying, "I have seen your file with picture, only then i suggest to go for offset. Hope you get this clear?
WOW, now i'm the one who is not clear about things. How awesome is this? #dumbfoundedwithamazement
All she could have said was, "I'm sorry, i only had time to open your file now and realised there was an image involved." DONE, SETTLED. I can accept this if business has kept you busy. But don't come and tell me your cock and bull argument lady.
This is just literally WTF in font size 100. Goodness man.
If you intend to go with them, please please don't assume anything. Ask about EVERYTHING - what kind of paper, printing device, charges, ADDITIONAL charges, color, envelope, just everything please. And my lesson learnt here: If they don't reply any question, probe on. Don't be nice and leave it hanging. This industry is full of bullies. Nice-ness does not get you very far.
Getting RSVPs; Friendship
Did you hear that it is on important days like this you will know how much you mean to a 'friend'?
Well, i'm getting there. I'm experiencing friendships that warm my heart and makes me smile, i'm also getting a taste of let-downs.
Let's talk about the good.
I've have always known Jennifer was a good friend. But through these planning days, i've just been touched by her in so many ways. She makes time to accompany me for gown-choosing, all the way to gown-fittings 1, and 2 and 3. She was willing to give up a long flight just so she can be my 'bangla' on day of the photoshoot. She gives wise and unbiased comments. She follows me to hunt for bridesmaid's dresses. All without a single word of complaint nor expectation of anything in return. :)
I just want to write this so i can read back here and remind myself of how much love you have showered upon me and only hope i can return this favour to you when your big day comes.
Thank you babe *HUGGGS*
Some other friends, on the other hand, can straight out tell me no i'm sorry i cannot attend your wedding without even as much as lift a finger to try.
Friend 1 said: "I have an event on that day". After a short convo, it suddenly became "My boss has informed me there will be a lot of events in December, so i don't want to promise you anything."
WOW. And i have known her since i was 13. That was painful.
Friend 2: "Sorry i can't make it on that day. I'm going _______. Have been trying to liaise with the lady but haven't made any confirmations".
I chose to read this as "Sorry, i don't care enough for you to try and change the travel dates which have not been confirmed". Don't you think it's apt?
These friends don't appear for gatherings, fine. I can accept you are busy. But i used to think weddings are big events that made a difference. A day where people make time to gather, to meet up, to celebrate as one. But so far, i have been disappointed time, and again.
Ah, i guess weddings really do reflect friendships, doesn't it?
P/S: I will not deny i teared while writing this.
It's been really saddening thus far, to see the really ugly side of the wedding industry. All the vendors know how much that day will mean to you and because of that plain reason, they find ways and means to extort money from you. Let's say we're paying for something that's worth it, we can't complain much right? But these vendors have horrible customer service.
What went on yesterday
Invites: Purple Cards
Everything started off well. Evelyn, the person-in-charge was pleasant, responded promptly, and answered every question well.
Fast forward a couple of months later when designs have been finalized. I sent them to her to check if the color, sizing, format, etc was ok. She answered other questions but not this. Mind you, i did repeatedly ask if the files were ok. No reply. We only went on about questions on other stuff, and of cos making of the deposit.
After deposit was made, lo and behold, my question had a reply!
This was what she said:
"I have seen the files.
I have a suggestion here.
I notice that you have a picture behind the boarding pass card, I'll suggest you to go for offset printing in order to have a good quality and higher resolution print out."
Of course she goes on to tell me how much i need to top up.
And i'm here going, "WTF?"
But i gave her a very simple reply "you could have told me before i made the deposit"
As vendors with years in the wedding industry, they SHOULD know that most brides have budgets to work within. Let's not even go into if i have a choice of getting my 50% deposit back?
The following emails detailed her saying she had to "see the cards before proposing a printing option". I don't know if some people think all brides or stupid or dumb or what, but i clearly DID her the files to her way before we started talking about money. Sigh.
She went on saying, "I have seen your file with picture, only then i suggest to go for offset. Hope you get this clear?
WOW, now i'm the one who is not clear about things. How awesome is this? #dumbfoundedwithamazement
All she could have said was, "I'm sorry, i only had time to open your file now and realised there was an image involved." DONE, SETTLED. I can accept this if business has kept you busy. But don't come and tell me your cock and bull argument lady.
This is just literally WTF in font size 100. Goodness man.
If you intend to go with them, please please don't assume anything. Ask about EVERYTHING - what kind of paper, printing device, charges, ADDITIONAL charges, color, envelope, just everything please. And my lesson learnt here: If they don't reply any question, probe on. Don't be nice and leave it hanging. This industry is full of bullies. Nice-ness does not get you very far.
Getting RSVPs; Friendship
Did you hear that it is on important days like this you will know how much you mean to a 'friend'?
Well, i'm getting there. I'm experiencing friendships that warm my heart and makes me smile, i'm also getting a taste of let-downs.
Let's talk about the good.
I've have always known Jennifer was a good friend. But through these planning days, i've just been touched by her in so many ways. She makes time to accompany me for gown-choosing, all the way to gown-fittings 1, and 2 and 3. She was willing to give up a long flight just so she can be my 'bangla' on day of the photoshoot. She gives wise and unbiased comments. She follows me to hunt for bridesmaid's dresses. All without a single word of complaint nor expectation of anything in return. :)
I just want to write this so i can read back here and remind myself of how much love you have showered upon me and only hope i can return this favour to you when your big day comes.
Thank you babe *HUGGGS*
Some other friends, on the other hand, can straight out tell me no i'm sorry i cannot attend your wedding without even as much as lift a finger to try.
Friend 1 said: "I have an event on that day". After a short convo, it suddenly became "My boss has informed me there will be a lot of events in December, so i don't want to promise you anything."
WOW. And i have known her since i was 13. That was painful.
Friend 2: "Sorry i can't make it on that day. I'm going _______. Have been trying to liaise with the lady but haven't made any confirmations".
I chose to read this as "Sorry, i don't care enough for you to try and change the travel dates which have not been confirmed". Don't you think it's apt?
These friends don't appear for gatherings, fine. I can accept you are busy. But i used to think weddings are big events that made a difference. A day where people make time to gather, to meet up, to celebrate as one. But so far, i have been disappointed time, and again.
Ah, i guess weddings really do reflect friendships, doesn't it?
P/S: I will not deny i teared while writing this.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Say goodbye to cold calls!
Common numbers to avoid picking up!
I'm compiling a list of cold call numbers that i receive almost everyday, just so all of you know which number is gonne waste 2 precious minutes of your life.
Here goes:
6398 3935 - AXA (some insurance company)
6933 8780 - Standard Chartered
6684 1180 - website says Citibank but when i picked up, it's silent. (*famous nuisance number on google)
6933 8787 - ANZ money loan
6309 1906 - Citibank insurance
6788 9555 - True Fitness
6348 7786 - Insurance
Yes, i picked up these unknown calls for one month to compile this list.
Anyone has others on their 'DND' list, holler me!
*Update: just received another call from that famous number 6684 1180 again. It's Citibank calling to offer extra funds.
I'm compiling a list of cold call numbers that i receive almost everyday, just so all of you know which number is gonne waste 2 precious minutes of your life.
Here goes:
6398 3935 - AXA (some insurance company)
6933 8780 - Standard Chartered
6684 1180 - website says Citibank but when i picked up, it's silent. (*famous nuisance number on google)
6933 8787 - ANZ money loan
6309 1906 - Citibank insurance
6788 9555 - True Fitness
6348 7786 - Insurance
Yes, i picked up these unknown calls for one month to compile this list.
Anyone has others on their 'DND' list, holler me!
*Update: just received another call from that famous number 6684 1180 again. It's Citibank calling to offer extra funds.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Bride to be
For those who haven't heard, yes i'm engaged to get married!
So now that i'm loaded with free time, i've been flipping the pages of STYLE|Brides and clicking through forums (singaporebrides.com and perfectweddings.sg). These forums are god-sent really, especially for the clueless like me.
One thing i know for sure - i'm going to find THE dress, like how i found THE shoe.
I've visited 6 bridal shops so far. And if you don't already know, there are 2 types of bridal shops in SG - one-stop shop (where you get all kinds of bridal services) and the designer shops.
Simply put, if you're lazy and think you can settle with a decent gown, go for the former. That said, be prepared to sit through lengths of sales-pitches as you attempt to 'browse' through the Tanjong Pagar stretch of shops. Now, don't despair. Their gowns are really quite beautiful and some even have tie-ups with professional photographers. And you really save a lot of time without having to search through individually for makeup artists, photographers and videographers.
On the other hand, if you prefer a more personal bridal experience, pay the designer studios a visit. I guarantee you it will be worth it. You learn things that you'll never get at one-stop shops, you speak to people and really feel their sincerity to help you find that dress. :)
Ok i'm gonne do a quick update.
Here we go:
1. DiGio
I browsed through their collection online and i loved what i saw - lots of elegant lace! Helped too that my gf, Kelly said they weren't the pushy kind. So together with 2 of my closest gfs, we marched to Tanjong Pagar.
My sales consultant was Qin Wen - she's pretty nice. Did not try too hard to sell, answered all my queries and allowed me to try on 4 gowns (actually only 3 is allowed, but she was kind enough to make an exception). No photography allowed. But erm, i think my gf's camera accidentally captured a couple? =X
[insert pic]
[insert pic]
Package wise: Abt $3k with everything in. Photography looks good too.
2. White Link
Saw a very pretty short dress and popped in to take a look! Little did we know that a longggggg sales lecture was about to haunt us. This lady called Hazel, went on n on n on. One week after the visit, she's still calling me! Oh my goodness, this bridal shop really did it for me. I'm not going to anymore of these pro-selling people.
But i must add the dress is really pretty!
[insert pic]
3. Danny L
Sandra, the lady at Fairy's Inc told me to check Danny out 'cuz his designs are pretty good even though he's new. The day i was there, he was away in Beijing, so his assistant, this very kind lady, Alicia helped me out. Boy, she was god-sent! She let me try on gown after gown after gown and she did not show any sign of frustration. None, zilch! I mean after the previous 2 bridal shops, i was really hesitant to try anything on. But not only did Alicia help me choose some gowns, while i was wearing a piece and swooning away with my bridesmaids, she was running around to find a veil, a belt, etc to complete the look.
I was truly blown away by her sincerity. If not for the fact i haven't met the real guy, Alicia totally convinced me already. :)
Go to Danny if you're looking for two-piece gowns to mix & match.
4. Olive Suite
Unfortunately, I was kinda disappointed with Olive. Before i even got engaged, i somehow chanced upon their fb page and found myself scrolling and daydreaming away - it was that good! But when i was there to browse their pieces, there weren't many to begin with. The lady there looked so young like she just came out of school! I'm not trying to be mean but honestly, i don't see how any bride would leave their dream gown in a student's hands?!
5. Kai Bridal Couture
Kai carries beauuuutiful lace gowns, and the pictures lead me to him. He was nice, we didn't completely gel and i could hear an awkward silence while i was in the changing room and my HTB and Kai were waiting outside. =/ Well anyway, he seems to be flexible with pricing since he owns the place but i chose against this bridal shop because i did not find THAT dress. And also because Kai mentioned his shop lease was up and he might use the chance to go on a long holiday. Which would inadvertently mean if i buy a gown from him, and i need alteration, he will be in some other part of the world.
6. Silhouette The Atelier
Wow, we were served TWG teas and Nespresso coffee?! I'm very impressed. Ok, back to topic haha.
Their rack of gowns were...SO BEAUTIFUL. Almost every one i touched, i liked. Kenji was the designer assigned to me and he was friendly. I also loved how honest and clear they were about additional add ons and pricings, etc. He allowed me to try on 3 gowns, all of which were different cuttings and i have that happy problem where everything looked amazing, i couldn't even decide on a style (wtf, so much for one step at a time and forums tell you to first choose a cutting that suits your body shape). Of course i did not sign on my first visit. I promised myself to never do that and regret. So i told Kenji to let me think about it and i will be back.
And guess what, i did go back.
With reasons being:
1. The gowns here are the nicest so far. I'm not sure if i found THE one, but from what i saw on the rack, i felt very safe that we shared the same taste in gowns, and i was willing to leave it to them. Something just told me my gown was there.
2. Good selection of bridal and evening gowns (and i mean they suit my taste, not carry a wide selection)
3. Good service - no hard selling, no pushing, no pressurizing. Just all friendly smiles and genuine comments.
4. Nice shop with a very nice location - this is a good-to-have considering you will be here often! You need to like the place!
5. I really liked the possibility of having more TWG tea. (shuddup, haha)
Advice for BTBs: Look around, do NOT sign up at roadshows if you haven't already gone to their shop to look around and feel the ambience, ask about both bridal and evening gowns. Do not concentrate on the white gown and be left to worry about the other! You aren't only wearing ONE dress, remember that! Most importantly, take some timeout from the sales pitches, go home and ask yourself if you have faith your dress is in that shop. Consider the style, the range, the material, the cutting of the gowns, workmanships, everything. At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what anyone else says, because YOU are the lucky lady wearing that gown, and this is the one day you get to choose what YOU think makes you feel like a million bucks.
All the best!!!
So now that i'm loaded with free time, i've been flipping the pages of STYLE|Brides and clicking through forums (singaporebrides.com and perfectweddings.sg). These forums are god-sent really, especially for the clueless like me.
One thing i know for sure - i'm going to find THE dress, like how i found THE shoe.
I've visited 6 bridal shops so far. And if you don't already know, there are 2 types of bridal shops in SG - one-stop shop (where you get all kinds of bridal services) and the designer shops.
Simply put, if you're lazy and think you can settle with a decent gown, go for the former. That said, be prepared to sit through lengths of sales-pitches as you attempt to 'browse' through the Tanjong Pagar stretch of shops. Now, don't despair. Their gowns are really quite beautiful and some even have tie-ups with professional photographers. And you really save a lot of time without having to search through individually for makeup artists, photographers and videographers.
On the other hand, if you prefer a more personal bridal experience, pay the designer studios a visit. I guarantee you it will be worth it. You learn things that you'll never get at one-stop shops, you speak to people and really feel their sincerity to help you find that dress. :)
Ok i'm gonne do a quick update.
Here we go:
1. DiGio
I browsed through their collection online and i loved what i saw - lots of elegant lace! Helped too that my gf, Kelly said they weren't the pushy kind. So together with 2 of my closest gfs, we marched to Tanjong Pagar.
My sales consultant was Qin Wen - she's pretty nice. Did not try too hard to sell, answered all my queries and allowed me to try on 4 gowns (actually only 3 is allowed, but she was kind enough to make an exception). No photography allowed. But erm, i think my gf's camera accidentally captured a couple? =X
[insert pic]
[insert pic]
Package wise: Abt $3k with everything in. Photography looks good too.
2. White Link
Saw a very pretty short dress and popped in to take a look! Little did we know that a longggggg sales lecture was about to haunt us. This lady called Hazel, went on n on n on. One week after the visit, she's still calling me! Oh my goodness, this bridal shop really did it for me. I'm not going to anymore of these pro-selling people.
But i must add the dress is really pretty!
[insert pic]
3. Danny L
Sandra, the lady at Fairy's Inc told me to check Danny out 'cuz his designs are pretty good even though he's new. The day i was there, he was away in Beijing, so his assistant, this very kind lady, Alicia helped me out. Boy, she was god-sent! She let me try on gown after gown after gown and she did not show any sign of frustration. None, zilch! I mean after the previous 2 bridal shops, i was really hesitant to try anything on. But not only did Alicia help me choose some gowns, while i was wearing a piece and swooning away with my bridesmaids, she was running around to find a veil, a belt, etc to complete the look.
I was truly blown away by her sincerity. If not for the fact i haven't met the real guy, Alicia totally convinced me already. :)
Go to Danny if you're looking for two-piece gowns to mix & match.
4. Olive Suite
Unfortunately, I was kinda disappointed with Olive. Before i even got engaged, i somehow chanced upon their fb page and found myself scrolling and daydreaming away - it was that good! But when i was there to browse their pieces, there weren't many to begin with. The lady there looked so young like she just came out of school! I'm not trying to be mean but honestly, i don't see how any bride would leave their dream gown in a student's hands?!
5. Kai Bridal Couture
Kai carries beauuuutiful lace gowns, and the pictures lead me to him. He was nice, we didn't completely gel and i could hear an awkward silence while i was in the changing room and my HTB and Kai were waiting outside. =/ Well anyway, he seems to be flexible with pricing since he owns the place but i chose against this bridal shop because i did not find THAT dress. And also because Kai mentioned his shop lease was up and he might use the chance to go on a long holiday. Which would inadvertently mean if i buy a gown from him, and i need alteration, he will be in some other part of the world.
6. Silhouette The Atelier
Wow, we were served TWG teas and Nespresso coffee?! I'm very impressed. Ok, back to topic haha.
Their rack of gowns were...SO BEAUTIFUL. Almost every one i touched, i liked. Kenji was the designer assigned to me and he was friendly. I also loved how honest and clear they were about additional add ons and pricings, etc. He allowed me to try on 3 gowns, all of which were different cuttings and i have that happy problem where everything looked amazing, i couldn't even decide on a style (wtf, so much for one step at a time and forums tell you to first choose a cutting that suits your body shape). Of course i did not sign on my first visit. I promised myself to never do that and regret. So i told Kenji to let me think about it and i will be back.
And guess what, i did go back.
With reasons being:
1. The gowns here are the nicest so far. I'm not sure if i found THE one, but from what i saw on the rack, i felt very safe that we shared the same taste in gowns, and i was willing to leave it to them. Something just told me my gown was there.
2. Good selection of bridal and evening gowns (and i mean they suit my taste, not carry a wide selection)
3. Good service - no hard selling, no pushing, no pressurizing. Just all friendly smiles and genuine comments.
4. Nice shop with a very nice location - this is a good-to-have considering you will be here often! You need to like the place!
5. I really liked the possibility of having more TWG tea. (shuddup, haha)
Advice for BTBs: Look around, do NOT sign up at roadshows if you haven't already gone to their shop to look around and feel the ambience, ask about both bridal and evening gowns. Do not concentrate on the white gown and be left to worry about the other! You aren't only wearing ONE dress, remember that! Most importantly, take some timeout from the sales pitches, go home and ask yourself if you have faith your dress is in that shop. Consider the style, the range, the material, the cutting of the gowns, workmanships, everything. At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what anyone else says, because YOU are the lucky lady wearing that gown, and this is the one day you get to choose what YOU think makes you feel like a million bucks.
All the best!!!
Sunday, May 12, 2013
There's something about Mother's Day.
My news feed is streaming with wishes and pictures. And i feel empty.
A friend posted a chat with her mother and all i could do was envy. I've never had a mother who had a cuddly nickname for me.
Now, don't get me wrong. My mother is the best mother in the world. She gave up a shitload and suffered quite a fair bit for my sister, myself and my brother. If there's anyone who would do anything for us, it is her. And i am truly thankful for that.
It's just sometimes i wish i had mother i hugged and kissed and it would feel like natural. That's all.
Anyhoos, Happy Mother's Day to all mothers!
My news feed is streaming with wishes and pictures. And i feel empty.
A friend posted a chat with her mother and all i could do was envy. I've never had a mother who had a cuddly nickname for me.
Now, don't get me wrong. My mother is the best mother in the world. She gave up a shitload and suffered quite a fair bit for my sister, myself and my brother. If there's anyone who would do anything for us, it is her. And i am truly thankful for that.
It's just sometimes i wish i had mother i hugged and kissed and it would feel like natural. That's all.
Anyhoos, Happy Mother's Day to all mothers!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Amidst the whirlwind of wedding preparations going through my mind day in day out, i chanced upon a writing online that made me stop and think.
It's a great read and i hope you like it too :)
As I think back on the hundred-plus weddings I've photographed, I want to emphasize this:
Every wedding is perfect.
I love a good party.
I love a bride in the most elaborate, fancy, princess-y dress you've ever dreamed of.
I love custom chuppahs and embroidered aisle runners and matchy-matchy bridesmaids dresses.
I love to photograph flowers and shoes.
But you know why I REALLY do what I do?
To photograph your parents, who will hold hands and cry on the first row of the chapel. To photograph your sister dancing with that boy she will marry in three years. To photograph those kids who will grow up so, so quickly. To photograph your grandfather, who will pass away next spring. To photograph your first kiss as a married couple, your best friend busting out her signature dance moves, the flower girl asleep under a table, and maybe even your ex looking pretty wistful as he hugs you a little too long in the receiving line.
You already know: your cake will disappear in less than an hour, your flowers will wilt before the ceremony ends, and that uncomfortable tux will go back to the rental place in the morning. But those photos... they're gonna be there forever. You'll have them when your own kids are born, when you have the biggest fight ever with your partner and need to be reminded of how much you really love each other, when your parents pass away and you realize the last time you danced with them was at your wedding...
So, nothing against the wedding magazines and blogs and their endless, passionate quest for "perfect" detail shots. PLEASE: throw the party of your lives with every. single. detail. EXACTLY as you dreamed it would be.
But my job -- MY job -- is to see past all that. My job is to give you photos that will remind you why you had that damn expensive party in the first place.
If you're planning your wedding right now, please just close the magazine. Log out of Pinterest. And look at the person you want to grow old with. Remind yourself of why you're doing this. And really CELEBRATE when that day comes. Don't stress about your shoes or your cake or your flowers. Don't stress about anything. When it's all over, you will be married, and surrounded by the people who know you and love you most in the whole wide world.
I promise: that is the Perfect Wedding.
It's a great read and i hope you like it too :)
As I think back on the hundred-plus weddings I've photographed, I want to emphasize this:
Every wedding is perfect.
I love a good party.
I love a bride in the most elaborate, fancy, princess-y dress you've ever dreamed of.
I love custom chuppahs and embroidered aisle runners and matchy-matchy bridesmaids dresses.
I love to photograph flowers and shoes.
But you know why I REALLY do what I do?
To photograph your parents, who will hold hands and cry on the first row of the chapel. To photograph your sister dancing with that boy she will marry in three years. To photograph those kids who will grow up so, so quickly. To photograph your grandfather, who will pass away next spring. To photograph your first kiss as a married couple, your best friend busting out her signature dance moves, the flower girl asleep under a table, and maybe even your ex looking pretty wistful as he hugs you a little too long in the receiving line.
You already know: your cake will disappear in less than an hour, your flowers will wilt before the ceremony ends, and that uncomfortable tux will go back to the rental place in the morning. But those photos... they're gonna be there forever. You'll have them when your own kids are born, when you have the biggest fight ever with your partner and need to be reminded of how much you really love each other, when your parents pass away and you realize the last time you danced with them was at your wedding...
So, nothing against the wedding magazines and blogs and their endless, passionate quest for "perfect" detail shots. PLEASE: throw the party of your lives with every. single. detail. EXACTLY as you dreamed it would be.
But my job -- MY job -- is to see past all that. My job is to give you photos that will remind you why you had that damn expensive party in the first place.
If you're planning your wedding right now, please just close the magazine. Log out of Pinterest. And look at the person you want to grow old with. Remind yourself of why you're doing this. And really CELEBRATE when that day comes. Don't stress about your shoes or your cake or your flowers. Don't stress about anything. When it's all over, you will be married, and surrounded by the people who know you and love you most in the whole wide world.
I promise: that is the Perfect Wedding.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Call on that friend
You know how sometimes you suddenly remember an old school friend or team mate whom you've lost contact with and reminisce the good old days?
But instead of initiating a conversation with them or just to say 'hi', we just scroll the updates they've been posting on Facebook thinking they are too busy with their lives to remember us.
See, it's not that people don't care about you or they've forgotten your existence.
They're probably looking at your Facebook statuses and photos wondering if you're doing good like they are too.
I had that feeling today.
So i messaged my ex-coach aka god brother on facebook today. Just to check if he was online.
And his reply was so heartwarming.
Man, i've missed him so much - the calm and logical man i'm very proud to call my coach.
What triggered me to blog about this was the fact that even though we haven't spoken in ages, when he found out i was getting married, he actually offered to help...
:) that question he asked warmed my heart so much...it doesn't even matter whether he meant it or not. The simple fact that he cared enough to type those 5 words meant enough for me.
But instead of initiating a conversation with them or just to say 'hi', we just scroll the updates they've been posting on Facebook thinking they are too busy with their lives to remember us.
See, it's not that people don't care about you or they've forgotten your existence.
They're probably looking at your Facebook statuses and photos wondering if you're doing good like they are too.
I had that feeling today.
So i messaged my ex-coach aka god brother on facebook today. Just to check if he was online.
And his reply was so heartwarming.
Man, i've missed him so much - the calm and logical man i'm very proud to call my coach.
What triggered me to blog about this was the fact that even though we haven't spoken in ages, when he found out i was getting married, he actually offered to help...
:) that question he asked warmed my heart so much...it doesn't even matter whether he meant it or not. The simple fact that he cared enough to type those 5 words meant enough for me.
Incredible India
<back-post: this is a note written before i boarded the plane for home>
Everybody should visit India
Trips to India are meant to refresh our souls.
The past 13 days has taught me so much, and it has shown me that I can do things that I always thought I would die doing when fully sheltered in Singapore.
I hated Indians because they annoyed the hell outta me, I hated India because it was so dirty & dangerous, I hated the stares they so willingly offered. I hated the color, the smell. Quite possibly, almost everything.
But I had a choice and I chose to go to India.
Because they say you should never judge anything or anyone before you've made an effort to know them.
Well, India has shown me what really matters in this world - humanity, love, kindness, compassion, joy, kinship, etc.
I've learnt how benevolent Indians are to animals. Even if it means jam-braking for it to cross the road at grandmother-speed, they never once complained.
I've learnt how rare/difficult it is for people to move from town to town.
Most have never even been to the town next door.
The foggy weather slows the train, delays people's plans. I met this old lady at the train station who only spoke Hindi. Her train journey of an average 1 hour became a long night. Throughout the 3 hours i sat beside her waiting, I was near pulling my hair out and visually stabbing every idiotic men who came into the 'women's-only' waiting room.
But she showed no signs of frustration and even managed to give me the occasional reassuring smile. Amazing.
I've seen people showering and doing their business along the (yes, very public) river.
Wherever there's water (clean or not), they will be there every morning to brush their teeth & start their day. And they look happy. Contented.
I've learnt that castes and hierarchy in India are extremely prevalent. And they live with these restrictions. Shashi, my cooking teacher told us of how her Brahmin (highest class) husband passed away at a young age and left her with 3 sons to take care of. She was in despair, but picked herself up slowly, going against traditions that did not allow her to do certain 'dirty' jobs. Funny how the world works, but it was a foreigner who ate at her family restaurant and told her she should share her cooking prowess with the world.
I met this rich hotel dude who taught us that marriage between Indians depended on their planets and horoscopes. If it said Tuesday, people attended weddings on Tuesdays. Weddings are huge in India. Family ties and friendship are important. It came way before money & work, even if it means having to struggle at work the next day.
Most women in India get married at 18 and start a family. My driver said his wife lives her life taking care of the cows & goats (for the children's milk) and the family. No TV, no computer. He hasn't seen them for 4 months. But life goes on...
At day 13, I can proudly say I've learnt to love chai (masala tea)! I used to scrunch my face at the smell of it. Could never understand the craze. But my cooking teacher replaced that with a cup of chai she made from scratch and that was the first cup of chai I gulped down happily.
I've been forced to eat vegetarian food. Surprising enough, I only realised it the next day when I had meat! And it was like, hey, I did not die. Lol!
Anyway, I thought back, and I found out why I was oblivious. I enjoyed my food so much. Indian vegetarian food was...is, very edible in fact. There are a thousand ways to mix curry, masala and any kind of vegetable you can find! Life would never be boring.
Well, these are just some of the things I've learnt.
The bigger lesson is simply to be thankful.
Real happiness is when you feel fine even if there is nothing left in your pocket. It is when you know how to enjoy life in spite of all the problems you have. And most of all, when you still know how to smile and give thanks even if you are the poorest person and has the least important job on earth.
Don't judge before knowing, don't perceive before understanding, don't hate before trying.
I know when I get home, and months after, I might forget what I've learnt, but I shall keep the serenity prayer close to my heart.
It says,
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."
Before you complain about your food - think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you whine about the MRT - think of someone who walks the journey with their feet.
And before you complain about your job - think of unemployed, the disabled and those who wish they had your job.
Thank you for having me, India.
Everybody should visit India
 |
| Sunrise at The Ganges River, Varanasi |
Trips to India are meant to refresh our souls.
The past 13 days has taught me so much, and it has shown me that I can do things that I always thought I would die doing when fully sheltered in Singapore.
I hated Indians because they annoyed the hell outta me, I hated India because it was so dirty & dangerous, I hated the stares they so willingly offered. I hated the color, the smell. Quite possibly, almost everything.
But I had a choice and I chose to go to India.
Because they say you should never judge anything or anyone before you've made an effort to know them.
Well, India has shown me what really matters in this world - humanity, love, kindness, compassion, joy, kinship, etc.
I've learnt how benevolent Indians are to animals. Even if it means jam-braking for it to cross the road at grandmother-speed, they never once complained.
 |
| En route to Jaisalmer, the Desert city |
I've learnt how rare/difficult it is for people to move from town to town.
Most have never even been to the town next door.
The foggy weather slows the train, delays people's plans. I met this old lady at the train station who only spoke Hindi. Her train journey of an average 1 hour became a long night. Throughout the 3 hours i sat beside her waiting, I was near pulling my hair out and visually stabbing every idiotic men who came into the 'women's-only' waiting room.
But she showed no signs of frustration and even managed to give me the occasional reassuring smile. Amazing.
 | |
| the first class cabin |
Wherever there's water (clean or not), they will be there every morning to brush their teeth & start their day. And they look happy. Contented.
 |
| 6am along the Ganges |
I've learnt that castes and hierarchy in India are extremely prevalent. And they live with these restrictions. Shashi, my cooking teacher told us of how her Brahmin (highest class) husband passed away at a young age and left her with 3 sons to take care of. She was in despair, but picked herself up slowly, going against traditions that did not allow her to do certain 'dirty' jobs. Funny how the world works, but it was a foreigner who ate at her family restaurant and told her she should share her cooking prowess with the world.
 |
| Shashi with her students from all over the world |
I met this rich hotel dude who taught us that marriage between Indians depended on their planets and horoscopes. If it said Tuesday, people attended weddings on Tuesdays. Weddings are huge in India. Family ties and friendship are important. It came way before money & work, even if it means having to struggle at work the next day.
Most women in India get married at 18 and start a family. My driver said his wife lives her life taking care of the cows & goats (for the children's milk) and the family. No TV, no computer. He hasn't seen them for 4 months. But life goes on...
 |
| You, Me, and Kana (driver) |
 |
| My first cup of real (aka fresh) masala chai |
Anyway, I thought back, and I found out why I was oblivious. I enjoyed my food so much. Indian vegetarian food was...is, very edible in fact. There are a thousand ways to mix curry, masala and any kind of vegetable you can find! Life would never be boring.
 |
| Vegetable Mixed Rice |
 |
| Potato and cauliflower pakora (snack) with mango and mint chutney |
 |
| Mashed tomato and cheese on naan bread |
 |
| Chappati, Thosai, Naans in the making |
Well, these are just some of the things I've learnt.
The bigger lesson is simply to be thankful.
Real happiness is when you feel fine even if there is nothing left in your pocket. It is when you know how to enjoy life in spite of all the problems you have. And most of all, when you still know how to smile and give thanks even if you are the poorest person and has the least important job on earth.
Don't judge before knowing, don't perceive before understanding, don't hate before trying.
I know when I get home, and months after, I might forget what I've learnt, but I shall keep the serenity prayer close to my heart.
It says,
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."
Before you complain about your food - think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you whine about the MRT - think of someone who walks the journey with their feet.
And before you complain about your job - think of unemployed, the disabled and those who wish they had your job.
Thank you for having me, India.
A new (and greater) life awaits me
A new year, a new life.
They say it's never too late to start.
Why, hello everybody!
This is what's up: After floating around the world aimlessly for 6 years and 8 months, i'm finally calling it quits. I know some of you think i'm crazy to give this all up but you know, life is such that
we need to make a choice to take a chance or our lives will never change. For the better.
That's the '3Cs of life' quote.
I dare say i was one of the victims so deluded that this was the best job in the world - pays well, flies you free to anywhere in the world, no extra work or stress to bring home, no same sickening colleagues day after day.
Guess what?
The truth is while we go on defying gravity to wakeup in another country, our health is deteriorating. Through the years, i see my colleagues passing away, getting grounded for back injuries, females getting UTI (urinary tract infection) every now and then, the list goes on.
I feel my legs getting weaker from all the standing and walking, I watch my hair fall with every burst of hairspray, I developed new lower back and elbow problems i never had before.
So everyday i ask myself if this is really worth it?
The answer is no.
No matter how i try to flip the coin, it's still a no.
Sadly, we live and work in a country that's obsessed with money, and more money. There is no more humanity left in the office. Just skeletons trying to climb the ladder, at any cost.
You assist passengers with their truckload of bags and injure your back, will the company take care of you? NO.
You make a mistake on board, and the pax writes a complaint to the company. Does the company stand on your side? NO.
The passengers always seem to be right, because they're our pay-masters.
The day i sent the resignation email, i went back and forth trying to convince myself to just DO it.
Deep in my heart, i know my mind was well made up. Thing is, my fingers weren't moving. [Sometimes i just feel like sucha wuss!]
Anyhow, i remembered what a friend posted on facebook the other day.
This struck me like a chord and i kept it close to my heart, knowing it's gonne come in handy.
And it did! :D
Having done it, I'm starting to look at things from a different light.
There was an initial mixed emotion of relief and pity (still, dammit!). But right now, I find myself smiling at the darkness of the night, knowing that the future is so very bright. And I'm finally free to go explore my calling in life!
It's like, the lights just turned on again. There's so much hope out there.
If you don't already see the bright lights, then maybe, just maybe you might need that 20 seconds of insane courage too :)
They say it's never too late to start.
Why, hello everybody!
This is what's up: After floating around the world aimlessly for 6 years and 8 months, i'm finally calling it quits. I know some of you think i'm crazy to give this all up but you know, life is such that
we need to make a choice to take a chance or our lives will never change. For the better.
That's the '3Cs of life' quote.
I dare say i was one of the victims so deluded that this was the best job in the world - pays well, flies you free to anywhere in the world, no extra work or stress to bring home, no same sickening colleagues day after day.
Guess what?
The truth is while we go on defying gravity to wakeup in another country, our health is deteriorating. Through the years, i see my colleagues passing away, getting grounded for back injuries, females getting UTI (urinary tract infection) every now and then, the list goes on.
I feel my legs getting weaker from all the standing and walking, I watch my hair fall with every burst of hairspray, I developed new lower back and elbow problems i never had before.
So everyday i ask myself if this is really worth it?
The answer is no.
No matter how i try to flip the coin, it's still a no.
Sadly, we live and work in a country that's obsessed with money, and more money. There is no more humanity left in the office. Just skeletons trying to climb the ladder, at any cost.
You assist passengers with their truckload of bags and injure your back, will the company take care of you? NO.
You make a mistake on board, and the pax writes a complaint to the company. Does the company stand on your side? NO.
The passengers always seem to be right, because they're our pay-masters.
The day i sent the resignation email, i went back and forth trying to convince myself to just DO it.
Deep in my heart, i know my mind was well made up. Thing is, my fingers weren't moving. [Sometimes i just feel like sucha wuss!]
Anyhow, i remembered what a friend posted on facebook the other day.
This struck me like a chord and i kept it close to my heart, knowing it's gonne come in handy.
And it did! :D
Having done it, I'm starting to look at things from a different light.
There was an initial mixed emotion of relief and pity (still, dammit!). But right now, I find myself smiling at the darkness of the night, knowing that the future is so very bright. And I'm finally free to go explore my calling in life!
It's like, the lights just turned on again. There's so much hope out there.
If you don't already see the bright lights, then maybe, just maybe you might need that 20 seconds of insane courage too :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)