Call on that friend

You know how sometimes you suddenly remember an old school friend or team mate whom you've lost contact with and reminisce the good old days?
But instead of initiating a conversation with them or just to say 'hi', we just scroll the updates they've been posting on Facebook thinking they are too busy with their lives to remember us.

See, it's not that people don't care about you or they've forgotten your existence.
They're probably looking at your Facebook statuses and photos wondering if you're doing good like they are too.

I had that feeling today.
So i messaged my ex-coach aka god brother on facebook today. Just to check if he was online.
And his reply was so heartwarming.

 

Man, i've missed him so much - the calm and logical man i'm very proud to call my coach.

What triggered me to blog about this was the fact that even though we haven't spoken in ages, when he found out i was getting married, he actually offered to help...


 

:) that question he asked warmed my heart so much...it doesn't even matter whether he meant it or not. The simple fact that he cared enough to type those 5 words meant enough for me.

Incredible India

<back-post: this is a note written before i boarded the plane for home>

Everybody should visit India

Sunrise at The Ganges River, Varanasi

Trips to India are meant to refresh our souls.
The past 13 days has taught me so much, and it has shown me that I can do things that I always thought I would die doing when fully sheltered in Singapore.

I hated Indians because they annoyed the hell outta me, I hated India because it was so dirty & dangerous, I hated the stares they so willingly offered. I hated the color, the smell. Quite possibly, almost everything.

But I had a choice and I chose to go to India.
Because they say you should never judge anything or anyone before you've made an effort to know them.

Well, India has shown me what really matters in this world - humanity, love, kindness, compassion, joy, kinship, etc.

I've learnt how benevolent Indians are to animals. Even if it means jam-braking for it to cross the road at grandmother-speed, they never once complained.

En route to Jaisalmer, the Desert city

I've learnt how rare/difficult it is for people to move from town to town.
Most have never even been to the town next door.
The foggy weather slows the train, delays people's plans. I met this old lady at the train station who only spoke Hindi. Her train journey of an average 1 hour became a long night. Throughout the 3 hours i sat beside her waiting, I was near pulling my hair out and visually stabbing every idiotic men who came into the 'women's-only' waiting room.
But she showed no signs of frustration and even managed to give me the occasional reassuring smile. Amazing.

the first class cabin

I've seen people showering and doing their business along the (yes, very public) river.
Wherever there's water (clean or not), they will be there every morning to brush their teeth & start their day. And they look happy. Contented.

6am along the Ganges

I've learnt that castes and hierarchy in India are extremely prevalent. And they live with these restrictions. Shashi, my cooking teacher told us of how her Brahmin (highest class) husband passed away at a young age and left her with 3 sons to take care of. She was in despair, but picked herself up slowly, going against traditions that did not allow her to do certain 'dirty' jobs. Funny how the world works, but it was a foreigner who ate at her family restaurant and told her she should share her cooking prowess with the world.

Shashi with her students from all over the world

I met this rich hotel dude who taught us that marriage between Indians depended on their planets and horoscopes. If it said Tuesday, people attended weddings on Tuesdays. Weddings are huge in India. Family ties and friendship are important. It came way before money & work, even if it means having to struggle at work the next day.

Most women in India get married at 18 and start a family. My driver said his wife lives her life taking care of the cows & goats (for the children's milk) and the family. No TV, no computer. He hasn't seen them for 4 months. But life goes on...

You, Me, and Kana (driver)

At day 13, I can proudly say I've learnt to love chai (masala tea)! I used to scrunch my face at the smell of it. Could never understand the craze. But my cooking teacher replaced that with a cup of chai she made from scratch and that was the first cup of chai I gulped down happily.

My first cup of real (aka fresh) masala chai

I've been forced to eat vegetarian food. Surprising enough, I only realised it the next day when I had meat! And it was like, hey, I did not die. Lol!
Anyway, I thought back, and I found out why I was oblivious. I enjoyed my food so much. Indian vegetarian food was...is, very edible in fact. There are a thousand ways to mix curry, masala and any kind of vegetable you can find! Life would never be boring.

Vegetable Mixed Rice

Potato and cauliflower pakora (snack) with mango and mint chutney

Mashed tomato and cheese on naan bread

Chappati, Thosai, Naans in the making

Well, these are just some of the things I've learnt.
The bigger lesson is simply to be thankful.

Real happiness is when you feel fine even if there is nothing left in your pocket. It is when you know how to enjoy life in spite of all the problems you have. And most of all, when you still know how to smile and give thanks even if you are the poorest person and has the least important job on earth.

Don't judge before knowing, don't perceive before understanding, don't hate before trying.
I know when I get home, and months after, I might forget what I've learnt, but I shall keep the serenity prayer close to my heart.

It says,
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

Before you complain about your food - think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you whine about the MRT - think of someone who walks the journey with their feet.
And before you complain about your job - think of unemployed, the disabled and those who wish they had your job.

Thank you for having me, India.

A new (and greater) life awaits me

A new year, a new life.

They say it's never too late to start.

Why, hello everybody!

This is what's up: After floating around the world aimlessly for 6 years and 8 months, i'm finally calling it quits. I know some of you think i'm crazy to give this all up but you know, life is such that
we need to make a choice to take a chance or our lives will never change. For the better.
That's the '3Cs of life' quote.

I dare say i was one of the victims so deluded that this was the best job in the world - pays well, flies you free to anywhere in the world, no extra work or stress to bring home, no same sickening colleagues day after day.

Guess what?
The truth is while we go on defying gravity to wakeup in another country, our health is deteriorating. Through the years, i see my colleagues passing away, getting grounded for back injuries, females getting UTI (urinary tract infection) every now and then, the list goes on.
I feel my legs getting weaker from all the standing and walking, I watch my hair fall with every burst of hairspray, I developed new lower back and elbow problems i never had before. 
So everyday i ask myself if this is really worth it?

The answer is no.
No matter how i try to flip the coin, it's still a no.

Sadly, we live and work in a country that's obsessed with money, and more money. There is no more humanity left in the office. Just skeletons trying to climb the ladder, at any cost.
You assist passengers with their truckload of bags and injure your back, will the company take care of you? NO.
You make a mistake on board, and the pax writes a complaint to the company. Does the company stand on your side? NO.
The passengers always seem to be right, because they're our pay-masters.

The day i sent the resignation email, i went back and forth trying to convince myself to just DO it.
Deep in my heart, i know my mind was well made up. Thing is, my fingers weren't moving. [Sometimes i just feel like sucha wuss!]
Anyhow, i remembered what a friend posted on facebook the other day.

 
This struck me like a chord and i kept it close to my heart, knowing it's gonne come in handy.

And it did! :D

Having done it, I'm starting to look at things from a different light.

There was an initial mixed emotion of relief and pity (still, dammit!). But right now, I find myself smiling at the darkness of the night, knowing that the future is so very bright. And I'm finally free to go explore my calling in life!
It's like, the lights just turned on again. There's so much hope out there.

If you don't already see the bright lights, then maybe, just maybe you might need that 20 seconds of insane courage too :)